


Santa's Coming For His Elves (And Hell, Is He Coming)

by gayporn



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Harry, Elf Harry, Feminine Harry, Feminization, Harry has an ugly attitude, Harry wears a crop top because why not, M/M, Office Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Teasing, Top Louis, santa louis, they both do actually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 22:32:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5515676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayporn/pseuds/gayporn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Oh please, I’ve known you from the start. You were the Santa here for the past few years, rumors get around. Especially since a Santa like you,” Harry walked now, closer as he tapped Louis’ cheek, “is a very naughty man. I heard what you do to your little elves, don’t think I’m clueless. I just didn’t know how hot Santa was, makes sense now.”</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <i>What the fuck, “W-What-”</i></p><p>  <i>“Well, since you seem to be lost on your feet, go get ready to be Santa because I’m off to work. Bye!” the slutty dressed elf makes it off, his long hair hitting upon his delicate shoulders as he spun around and ran out of the room, leaving a really stunned Louis.</i> </p><p>  <i>Louis gasped, “WAIT YOU CAN’T WEAR THAT!”</i><br/><br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Santa's Coming For His Elves (And Hell, Is He Coming)

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted a Santa Louis fucking Elf Harry at a mall, so here it is. It probably sucks because it's just sex. Enjoy!

“God I fucking hate everything.” Louis groaned, “Another month of stupid Christmas shit.”

 

If one looks at the calendar hung upon some wall (who knows where, Louis could fucking care less) it’s evident that the picture on display is of some stupid Christmas tree with littering presents and happy children which declares the wintery season of Christmas joy and holly jolly joy. 

 

For Louis, it meant twice the damn work. Every year he’s given the place as Santa for the mall he works at and apparently Louis’ a very “beautiful” and “vibrant” man, which makes him “perfect for children”. At first, the idea seemed wonderful, to be able to watch all these kids smile, but after doing it for the past three to four years for the entire month of December, he started to get sick of it. Especially since (he swears this) children keep on getting rowdier and rowdier as time goes. Soon they’d be asking stupid questions like “why are you so dang fat Santa?” or “you keep lying that you’ll get me this Santa” or pull on his damn beard.

 

Louis was close to quitting the whole damn thing, but what kept him going was the handsome pay at the end and the free gifts from the company that sponsors the mall centre. Anyhow, the season is near and Louis’ going to head off to handle another month of misery in a fat Santa suit, wearing some itchy grey beard, while sitting down on a leathery, red chair that eventually makes his ass sore and legs fall asleep.

 

♥

 

“Alright!” Louis called out as he entered the employee’s break room where many of the workers, along with him, had come to the shopping centre at the crack of dawn and began to get dressed, “Before we get out there, I would like to know who my new helpers are.”

 

One thing this shopping centre does, though, is circulate extra workers around the entire mall and assign them to each store/task. Sometimes workers will be handling Christmas decor, the performances, or extra entertainment and there are those who “aid” Santa with his “presents” and splendid children. 

 

Each year, Louis had made many friends and a lot of them were so lovely to talk to it kept Louis sane. Other times, Louis might have snuck back and got a few Christmas gifts from the male or female employees in the janitor’s closet, maybe even in a dark empty storage lot. Sometimes Santa’s free to be naughty, who knew?

 

The employees were dressed in green and red (well no fucking shit it’s Christmas) and they each were dressed as elves with baggy green shorts, a red nose hanging off their faces, and some tall hat with red white stripes around the bottom rim, and green completely till the tip that ends with some red fluffy ball. Louis looked at each of them all dressed typically, until.

 

“Wait.” Louis’ eyes narrowed on one particular person who was awfully an outcast compared to the rest of his “elves”, “What the- What the hell?”

 

The workers were quiet as they watched Louis who stepped in deeper into the room, tossing his bag filled with his attire to the side, and walked towards the end to see a really, really oddly dressed worker. His eyes widened as he watched the other lad look at him back, smiling when he (damn he hot) looked back at him with preppy green eyes, slick red lips, and a gentle lanky body that stood there obediently.

 

“What are you wearing?” Louis asked, pointing at the new worker (at least that’s what Louis thinks because bloody hell who wears green, tight green bootie shorts and a green crop top that’s attached to the shorts buckle with some red bands along with candy cane like thigh socks) as his eyes looked over the boy up and down.

 

The other one spoke, his smooth sweet serene voice knocking Louis up a bit, “Well, shouldn’t you ask for my name first, Mr. Santa, right?”

 

Louis scoffed a bit, “You realize this is a shopping centre, a centre that will be filled with children- uh-”

 

“It’s Harry, my good sir.” Harry replied, smiling and god Louis swore he heard a little giggle.

 

Louis was about to speak again, jaw dropped until his eyes took note of the ogling workers, “W-What- you guys have been checked get the fuck to work!” Louis shouted and immediately the area cleared.

 

Harry watched, amused with eyebrows raised, “Didn’t know Santa was so mean. Then again, I heard a lot about you Louis Tomlinson.”

 

Louis looked confused, perplexed as he asked, “Excuse me? How do you-”

 

“Oh please, I’ve known you from the start. You were the Santa here for the past few years, rumors get around. Especially since a Santa like you,” Harry walked now, closer as he tapped Louis’ cheek, “is a very naughty man. I heard what you do to your little elves, don’t think I’m clueless. I just didn’t know how hot Santa was, makes sense now.”

 

What the fuck, “W-What-”

 

“Well, since you seem to be lost on your feet, go get ready to be Santa because I’m off to work. Bye!” the slutty dressed elf makes it off, his long hair hitting upon his delicate shoulders as he spun around and ran out of the room, leaving a really stunned Louis.

 

Louis gasped, “WAIT YOU CAN’T WEAR THAT!”

 

But Harry was already gone.

 

♥

 

“Why does this shit get itcher every fucking year.” Louis complained as he scratched his chin through the grassy like texture of grey hairs people called “Santa’s beard.” He walked over and saw the shopping mall becoming livelier by the minute as each area was occupied by elves and other workers to renovate for the holiday season. Louis’ place near the gigantic tree that’s been perfectly designed was already set for him to sit upon on some large ass red chair. It looks pretty, it does just sitting there surrounded by fake snow and a bunch of toys and fake wrapped presents. Louis, though, hated the job.

 

He walked on ahead to make a position there since in a couple of minutes kids will be running in to take a place on his tired thighs talking shit. As soon as he sat though, his peace of mind was ruined by a-

 

“Hey there!” A preppy voice broke in, and damn it, “Are you still cranky Santa?”

 

Louis rolled his eyes and turned to see Harry still dressed like a- (don’t say it Louis) an elf that works at Las Vegas. 

 

“Why are you here?” Louis simply asks as he pulls the beard down to ask properly.

 

Harry only giggled, shrugged as he said, “I’m supposed to be your helper, Santa. What kind of question is that?” 

 

“Are you trying to help me? Or are you trying to help yourself by annoying me.” Louis puffed out, but felt guilt as he watched the elf’s face fall.

 

“Mate,” His tone was serious as he spoke, “It’s Christmas, don’t be a damn jerk.”

 

Louis blinked, surprised is all, “Look, I’m tired is all and isn’t this your first time taking this turn of the Christmas rotations?”

 

“Yes, but at least I’m not a jerk about it.” Harry answered simply, he smiled with teeth a nice row of white.

 

“Quit calling me a jerk.” Louis groaned.

 

“Then stop being a jerk.” Harry teased, “Live a little Santa, never know when you’ll get rewarded for it.” He winks and fuck Louis wanted to fight right then and there and before he could say anymore the thing scurried off again.

 

♥

 

‘Can someone fucking choke me to death.’ Louis internally groaned as his thighs went numb and another damn child was placed on his lap, ‘Oh god this one drools. I didn’t want to die this way.’

 

Louis gulped as he spoke, his throat dry, “W-Well ho, ho, ho how are you little one!” 

 

The child was probably a couple years, but acted like a pile of jelly as Louis balanced the child over his legs trying to not drop the thing. However he really didn’t want to touch him because he could have sworn that the child was completely covered in its own spit.

 

The toddle began to babble incoherent words as surrounding families cooed and all Louis wanted was the shift to end until his eyes stopped a few feet across to see-

 

‘The fuck is he doing now?’ Louis thought to himself. The child was completely tuned out as he saw Harry being some damn elf or what not chatting up some guy who’s way too tall and thick at every edge. Harry stood there literally toppling over and having some kind of conversation with him. Okay first of all Harry was supposed to be working, second why the hell is he talking to some guy happily while Louis’ dying here trying to not get slobbered on, and why is Harry so close to the other guy?

 

“Santa! Santa!” 

 

Louis’ trained thought broke as he groaned once more and looked at the hundreds of children lined up and screaming. He was a damn man in a fat, red suit but of course how would these little kids tell the difference?

 

♥

 

“I like your eyes Santa!” one little girl blurted out and Louis had to admit she was really cute. Her silk like brown hair was tied into pigtails and lips were so pretty pink with cheeks just the same color over white skin.

 

Maybe Louis could like this one, “Really, little darling?”

 

“Yeah! They remind me of my porta potty!” She giggled.

 

Well never fucking mind.

 

“Ha. Ha. Ha.” Louis choked out, “Very funny.”

 

After the child whispered her “amazing” secret, he hopped off and it was about to be break soon and just when Louis closed his eyes to relax-

“Porta potty eyes, very savage. I like her.” 

 

‘Well, fuck me.’ Louis’ eyes shot up to see Harry right over him standing there looking down at him.

 

“Well look who it is, the elf who probably makes money by slapping men with his christmas panties.” Louis muttered out.

 

“I’d take that as an insult, but then again-” Harry chuckled as he circulated the chair to face Louis now and fortunately all the children were gone because, fuck. 

 

“What the fuck-” Louis yelped as he felt the man sit right over his damn lap, “Harry-”

 

“that may have happened.” Harry chuckled, “Unlike all the other boring elves, I am definitely the fun one.” Louis swallowed thickly as his eyes crossed every time Harry leaned in, “Oh and I am hundred percent sure Santas like you would love an Elf like me to take home.”

 

“We’re literally outside, Harry.” Louis broke out, “Outside.”

 

“And?” Harry rolled his eyes as he got off, but there might have been an extra grind down, “Relax-”

 

“Jesus fucking Christ.” Louis yelped as Harry sat right back down, but he wasn’t facing him anymore.

 

“No wonder they made you Santa.” Harry laughed, “You’re pretty comfortable.” 

 

“H-Harry, what the fuck are you-” Louis’ jaw clenched as his eyes rolled a bit, Harry wouldn't stop moving his hips and there were both a tension of being spotted and as well as the sexual arousal from it all.

 

Harry hummed, genuine in thought as he squirmed a bit, “Kind of bumpy, maybe if I move- no no maybe if I move this way.”

 

“Harry, you're-”

 

“Or maybe if I try moving a bit back-”

 

“Killing me, stop.” Louis sputtered out and his hand immediately clasped over Harry’s hips with the edge of his thumb pressing into the bare skin of the elf’s waist, “Get the fuck off, Harry.”

 

Harry laughed a bit and was about to until he heard a little voice that broke the eerie, sexual vibe. The pair looked down to see a little boy with navy blue jeans and a jumper filled with reindeers and Christmas hats staring up at them.

 

“Oh well who's this?” Harry said cheerily before Louis had the damn chance to let his dick breathe, “What’s your name.”

 

Louis yelped a bit, ‘Please don't tell me he’s’

 

Harry ignored Louis’ tensed body and cradled the boy onto his lap, crushing the poor Santa.

“You’re a cute one aren’t you!” Harry cooed. Great the damn elf was a kid lover and just had to gush over it while crushing Louis.

 

Louis huffed out an annoyed sigh, “Ugh.”

 

“My name is Jacob and is that Santa?” The boy asked, eyes wide with a hand over his mouth.

 

Harry smirked, “Why, yes it is!”

 

“Are we hurting Santa. He looks angry.” mumbled Jacob.

 

“Aw, poowee.” Harry giggled, “He’s not angry.”

 

“Are we squishing him?” The boy asked, god he was too sweet.

 

“Hm let me ask him.” Harry smirked as he looked over his shoulder, this fucking son of a bitch, and swiveled his hips harder than before, “Santa? We’re not squishing you are we?”

 

Louis remained quiet and soon his suit stopped itching and instead the lower regions of his body began to heat up and burn. This mother fucking elf was going to ruin him, “Uh-”

 

“See!” Harry giggled and turned back to the child who looked back at him, “He’s not bothered at all. Sitting there real quiet, tell me what is it that you want for Christmas?”

 

The child laughed a little and patted Harry’s cheek, “I just want Santa and his elves to be happy. They always get me stuff, do you guys get stuff too?”

 

“Sometimes,” Harry chuckled, “You’re such a doll aren’t you?”

 

“No! I’m tough!” The boy huffed, “But you look like a doll! You’re the prettiest elf I have seen!”

 

“Really now?” Harry looked over his shoulder to the sweating Santa who’s still struggling not to get the fuck hard, “I hope Santa rewards me for being the prettiest elf he has.”

 

“He should!” 

 

Louis swallowed, the bastard was indirectly hitting on him with a child on his lap and literally crushing him on the red chair. Oh for fuck’s sake.

 

“Ya hear that Santa!” With that the man finally bounced off of Louis’ lap with the child, both giggling as Harry tossed the child around in his hold.

 

“That bastard.” Louis breathed out, throwing his head back against the chair. If Louis was tired, he was dead now.

 

♥

 

The shift was finally over and the Santa session for children came to an end for today, which meant the employees were free to do what they wanted to do. Which meant Louis was ready to have some questions answered. What probably bothered him the most was Harry’s attitude, let alone his clothes. No one seemed phased by it though, probably since nowadays people take the idea of practically walking half naked as an everyday thing.

 

Louis was back at the employee room, sipping on some tea that had been left out. Perfectly stirred and cooked, soothing to the tongue, and the scent had Louis’ closing his eyes in pleasure from the taste. He felt pretty good, but then-

 

“Hey, again, sexy.” 

 

Louis sputtered on his tea as he looked back behind to see Harry standing there with shoes pressed together and hands behind his back. 

 

“What do you want now?” Louis groaned, placing the tea back down onto the marble top table.

 

Harry snorted and for some reason it looked attractive (get your shit together Louis) and walked closer to where Louis stood, not stopping, “Throughout this entire day-” Louis gulped as he felt arms close in around him, grasping the table top and trapping him, “you didn’t take a hint?”

 

Louis rolled his eyes as he pushed Harry away and took off his beard to toss it aside, scratching his cheeks from the ugly material, “What hint?”

 

“Bloody hell,” Harry scoffed, “Elves like me want a special present from Santa, Tomlinson.”

 

“Stop beating around the bush, Harry-”

 

“Then are you going to beat my ass down on this countertop?”

 

Louis’ jaw dropped as he turned back, his eyes bulged out a bit, “W-What?”

 

“Oh don’t act innocent,” Harry laughed, “Come here.” His index finger beckoned Louis and honestly the Santa man has no idea what’s going on, but his body suddenly gravitated towards the other, standing before him. Harry smiled and took Louis’ hand to place them over his bum, urging him to squeeze a little, just like that Louis complied and the other slurred in interest, “Yeah, like that.”

 

“Why-”

 

“You’re probably the hottest Santa I’ve laid my eyes on and with the little spin off of how you treat your elves, I decided to take the chance.” Harry answered simply.

 

“So you think I’m easy?” Louis asked.

 

“Ugh, I swear we could be fucking right now and you’re still asking me questions.” the other deadpanned.

 

“How does that even answer my fool-”

 

“Just kiss me you fool.”

 

In an instant, their lips met and yeah Louis may have been confused a bit, but fuck it. Harry was attractive and hell is he open with himself. Maybe the intensity was what sparked it, but they’re kissing, hard.

 

“Fuck, is the door locked?” Louis asked as he pulled away, trying to look at the door, but Harry pulled his face in once more desperate not to break their make out session.

 

“What do you take me for?” Harry panted out against the other’s lips, “Stupid?”

 

“Oh shut up.” said Louis and pushed the other back by the chest until his pert bum, squeezed in by his shorts was pressed back against the counter, continuously pushing him until Harry fell back on the countertop with an ‘unf.’

 

Harry whimpered as he felt the scruff of Louis’ natural hairs over his cheeks pressed against his neck. His eyes rolled, going shut as he faced the other direction all while Louis peppered his lips down and marking his way with purple bruises . 

 

“F-Fuck.” Harry huffed out and gripped the edge of the counter as he felt Louis part his legs to get in between and soon everything felt tripled in heat. 

 

“I got you, sh. Santa’s got you.” Louis whispered.

 

“Ew no. End that, when I think of having sex with Santa it’s some fat, peachy, old guy.” Harry grimaced.

 

“Wow thanks. Do you think the thought of ‘fucking his little elves’ is attractive? Sounds like I’m sticking my dick into alien blobs.” Louis retorted back.

 

They were quiet for a moment, looked at each other as they contemplated what’s just been said and soon the pair choked out loud laughs which ended with a few more kisses, pull of the tongue, and small moans.

 

♥

 

“S-Shit.” Harry was panting, fucking panting and Louis barely did anything. He kept arching his back and throwing out broken groans every time Louis left a mark or his hands squeezed an intimate area. He just couldn’t relax.

 

Louis already stripped out of his huge red coat and top along with his pants, which were now pulled at the base of his legs. Harry’s top was askewed as Louis’ hands sneaked in and tossed about as they squeezed his pecs which were fuller than most. It sent Harry to a frenzy. Louis’ already lost track of the damn time, but everyone else was obviously busy to come and check what the hell Harry and Louis were doing.

 

“Take my damn top off already.” Harry huffed out, but before he could do it himself he felt Louis tug him up to sit up roughly and immediately began to tug at the top, snapping the bands, that held it down, off. His lips worked too, loving the little gasps that left Harry’s lips as he sucked into the supply of white skin over his collar bones, “Fuck, yes. When are you going to fuck me, god damnit.”

 

Louis tutted as he pulled away, holding the top that he slipped off of Harry’s body, “Last time I checked Santa doesn’t like gifting to naughty people who’s impatient.”

 

“What I say about that Santa thing, Louis. I really don’t want to think about getting fucked by a-”

 

“Oh shut up, lighten up.” Louis laughed and pushed at Harry’s shoulders to lay him back down.

 

♥

 

“Yes, yes fuck.” Harry groaned, “Just stick your fucking fist.” He bit out.

 

Louis rolled his eyes and tried his best to press Harry’s hips down onto the counter because he just could not stop squirming. Louis, honestly it’s funny, barely had two fingers in and Harry’s screaming for his fist. First of all, no.

 

“You get wrecked easy.” Louis laughed.

 

Harry’s shorts were already down, hanging off from one out of a pair of legs still covered in candy cane like thigh socks. Louis continued to press in, his fingers heavily coated with spit as he ured to go harder, concentrated while he looked for that spot in Harry. Harry kept crying out and banging his arms against the counter beneath him while the other continued to split his legs apart, for sure there were bruises where Louis had handled Harry.

 

“Stop being such a bitch.” Harry gritted out, “How long does it take to- Oh OH, oh there it is, mother- yes, fucking fuck.” 

 

“Santa doesn’t like naughty elves who curse.” Louis cooed, ramming the tips of his fingers mercilessly all while Harry screamed and heaved out.

 

“Oh shut the fuck up,” Harry moaned, “Fuck, fuck. I’m ready.”

 

“What I say about being patient- ouch!” Louis cried out as Harry kicked the side of his face with his shin, “Alright, alright, Christ.”

 

Louis moaned a bit as he grabbed the base of his cock, pulsating at the hold and pulled Harry in with his other arm, his arse at the edge of the tabletop. Harry whimpered, eyes shut ready to be fucking rammed, but shot one open when he felt the head of Louis’ cock against his entrance, but not actually entered.

 

“You sure?” Louis asked.

 

“Are you really going to fucking ask me that now.” Harry whined and slammed the back of his heel against Louis’ back, “Just. Stick. It- son of a bitch.” His jaw dropped and lips went into a drunken grin as Louis slid in, not stopping one bit until he bottomed out, “Just like- just ram it or- fuck, fuck, FUCK, yes!”

 

“God, you’re so tight, Christ,” Louis choked out and nearly fell onto Harry, trying to recollect himself from the pleasurable, warm squeeze across his dick, “Fuck.”

 

Harry gasped, his pretty pink lips shuddering as he arched once more and arms wrapped around Louis, hand scratching down his back. He felt so blissed out and blanked out as though he drowned in snow (more like Louis’ come in this situation but). Louis leaned to kiss Harry once more, his thrusts growing and causing Harry’s back to slip and slide against the countertop. Their kisses were messy, barely making it as they drowned each other’s moans into their lips. The heat of their skins growing and everything felt hazy, but so so good.

 

“I-I’m so close,” Harry whimpered, “J-Just a bit more- woah shit.”

 

Louis pulled off and before Harry could complain he was pushed to get up and turn over so his back faced Louis now. Harry tried to balance himself up, but Louis rammed right back in-

 

“Ah, fuck!” Harry cried out as he crashed face flat onto the table top, letting out broken whines as his hips were gripped by perfectly melded hands. 

 

“J-Just need a good angle.” Louis muttered out, “Just-” He gripped Harry’s sock covered leg to lift one up on the table, increasing the stretch of Harry’s body and intensifying the angle, “a bit-”

 

“FUCK!” Harry screamed out and sobbed onto the tabletop as Louis went harder, harder than he could possible go, “There, there right there, yes. Louis please, fuck, fuck.”

 

Harry sputtered constant sounds of choked moans and who know what else all while Louis searched for his release and soon as he held Harry’s cock within his hand, slipping a thumb over the boy’s slit Harry shot his back up and cried out the man’s name loud, so loud Louis was worried someone could overhear and watched as Harry fell back just as fast whimpering brokenly.

 

“God, look at you.” Louis ushered out, and pushed away sweaty curls from Harry's neck and shoulders, “This has to be one of Santa’s finest works- fuck.” He groaned as Harry clenched roughly in response, triggering his release and soon everything felt like like a fog scented with sex and ruined innocence of a childhood concept.

 

It was perfect.

 

♥

 

Cleaning up the deed was probably the hardest because just as Louis went to wipe Harry’s frail body down after cleaning himself up, Harry dragged him down to kiss him once more, but slower and sensual than before. Like a little “thank you” for what they’ve done.

 

They pulled away and Harry opened his eyes and looked back at Louis with a lazy smile until he blinked his eyes open, wide.

 

“What’s wrong?” Louis asked.

 

“I forgot to put your dick in my mouth!”

**Author's Note:**

> It was 1 AM when I wrote this so, if it was bad, I get it.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Comments, Concerns, Questions?


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